Many of us are aware that we carry a core wound, from our history and not by mistake. Through this core wound we are invited to go onto a soul journey, to connect to our true nature and realise our gifts and purpose. Through this gateway, there is potential for the core wound to become the sacred wound.

It is not so different for the collective level of our society. Of course, this is no surprise, it is created by us.

If we could see, understand, feel and move through our core wound, maybe exactly the wisdom and gifts we need to heal our society and create a world that works for all could be revealed.

The core wound

There may be many ways to frame this, for some through patriarchy or white supremacy, and for some (including Charles Eisenstein) it is the story of separation. What i am sense is not so different, simply felt from inside and expressed in my own words.

In our society, we are taught to say no to our unique expressions and full potential, to our own guidance and intuition, to our bodies, hearts, spirit, life force, the truth of who we are.

At first we experience this from the people around us, love is withdrawn if we don’t comply, we are taught to come from fear, using shame or blame to cut ourselves off from love and worthiness. Through carers, teachers, systems and societies at large, we learn that if we don’t do what others (especially those with more power and access to resources) want, we will not be able to meet our basic needs.

For some of us our identity brings an additional set of reasons to say no to ourselves, either being told we are less and not deserving of things others have access to, or to feel guilt and shame about what we have that others don’t, or to cut off our natural care for others in order not to feel guilty. This adds to the very real external impacts of our oppressive systems and stories of separation and unconscious bias.

And then (this is the really clever damaging part), we learn to internalise that voice that says no and threatens us with scary scenarios, and we carry it around with us all of the time. For some of us we are taught there is an external authority figure called ‘God’ who is not within us from love but judging us from outside. For some of us, only our discerning and often critical minds are trusted and valued, and we cut off the rest of our wisdom, from our hearts, bodies, intuition and spirit.

Most of us live with internal separation, cut off from ourselves and our full potential.

The gift in the wound

Finding the sacred gift within our personal core wound involved being willing to make space to welcome and listen to the parts of us we have cut off, to feel their pain, hear their story, empathise and understand what is important. We need to grieve and move through, ideally in community. The next step is to take action to protect and love ourselves from a place of wisdom, and in the process discover our purpose.

What is the same is true for society? What if we are being called to fully hear, feel and acknowledge the pain of this core wound, this not trusting ourselves and our deeper wisdom, this cutting off of parts that society doesn’t (or someone didn’t) want. What if it is only through that process we can find the steps we need together to heal our world and create conditions for all of us to thrive?

Maybe it will take all of us, maybe just some of us is enough, i don’t know, but it does feel like something that needs to be done together, in community, this time with no-one left behind.

I know so many are seeing this and doing this work already, and i hope that writing this again in my own words as it came to me, might reach someone new.

For us, we are focusing on one way this can happen where we live in Halifax, rooted in the very real challenges and context of the UK in 2022 with food and fuel poverty, racism, a hostile immigration system and so much more to contend with. The inner and outer are not separate, and i need both to be included in the work i do. (We would love others with different life experiences and perspectives to join us in setting this up or supporting us in some way, get in touch if that might be you!)

I would love to know if this resonates, anything that shits in you, any objections or blindspots you see, and ways you are responding to this idea of a societal core wound and the possibility of transformation.

You rock.

Viv

Your rational mind is you
Your rational mind is what you can trust
Your body, spirit and the world are wild and dangerous
You must control yourself with effort
You must see what is right and wrong
You must reject and cut off what is bad

(so we can program you
so we can control and limit you
with our stories
with our ideas
with our demands

and it will be repeated so many times
through the structures that we create
that you comply with, maintain and add to
that you will forget
that once you knew what was real
without this illusion
that what we taught you
is still controlling and limiting you
even long after we have gone)

Sometimes these inherited patterns take a break
and this being human is effortless
I choose wisely and with love
I feel free and limitless
I am full of joy and in awe
I make choices that feel amazing

Sometimes i remember who i am
and see this story for what it is

another created fantasy
that i can pick up
or put down
and choose something new

A year or so ago i had a strong vision during a drum journey. There was an old white man lying down who was dying. He was full of tension that i knew intuitively was a result of his own ‘meanness’, how his ego and stories had driven him to hold on tightly even to his own body. I looked up and there were some indigenous medicine people that gave me some liquid to give him, not to cure him but to soothe the dying process. I understood this is what i am here to do.

The vision has puzzled me ever since. I am drawn to supporting groups and communities to create new systems, to move from hierarchy to collaborative ways of working together. I have been part of protests and campaigns, naming injustice and calling in what i see, but it doesn’t feel core to my work. Finally today, the pieces have slotted into place and this mission is clear.

I want to be part of dismantling white supremacy, patriarchy and the binary gender system. And i want to do it in a way that soothes the dying process, makes letting go easier and less painful. I want to find a way that is from love and not from more self criticism.

Dismantling injustice with love

I am totally committed to seeing through social constructs of race and the illusion of white supremacy, and dismantling systems of oppression. I want to live in a post racist world, where we see each other for our potential, where we welcome people who have been forcibly displaced, and where people who are gender nonconforming interact with systems that are designed for their reality too*. I want us to see through our unconscious bias and co-create conditions and systems where we can all thrive and fulfil our potential.

I identify as white and female, and I see that often in spaces i am in, our attempts to do this often look like more self monitoring, more self criticism, more right and wrong, more effort and tension. We try to keep track of not being racist, not playing out white fragility, not using the wrong pronouns, not asking when we should be doing the work, not taking up too much space. I feel in myself and see in others how trying to live from a place of constantly falling short of some ideal cuts us off from flow, from who we really are, from our life force, and from the self love and wholeness that we all long to feel deep down.

Finding another way

I want us to find a way where we can undo the violent separation of these systems, see what is really true, and do it in a way that is kinder, more forgiving and connected to our hearts.

I want us to find a way that is easier on our nervous systems. I want us to feel more love not less.

I want us to become anti racism without more guilt, blame and shame. I want us to take responsibility and at the same time not believe it is ‘our fault’, to know we were socialised into a racist society and make different conscious choices naturally because at a fundamental level we are interconnected, one.

There is fear that in hearing this people might have a story that i am not committed, that i am not willing to see, not willing to go into the pain, not willing to change, that i will fall back to the dominant paradigm, that i don’t really care. It is a story i have told myself too.

There is fear that people might have a story that i think i am the only one saying this, when there are many amazing people doing amazing anti racist work with love. I have also experienced great love and wisdom in spaces led by black people, and i wonder if this is another idea of whiteness we are unconsciously playing out? (Spending time with brap and others doing this work for 3 days recently inspired this thinking.)

So often it feels as though a critical mind is the sharp knife many of us are trying to use to do this healing work. It can also make this work less accessible to some of us who find lots of concepts hard to process, especially when also dealing with trauma, marginalisation or lack of access to resources.

What now?

I want to find ways to do the work with more empathy, understanding, self acceptance and compassion that i know can heal separation, alongside the strength and courage and willingness to sit in the fire that it takes to do this work.

I want people alongside that can both challenge and support me, call in what i don’t see and meet me with love and gentleness, and i want to do that for and with others too.

I want to learn from people who are finding ways to do this work that is simple and accessible enough for people with a less conceptual kind of wisdom to understand and embrace.

I want to integrate this wisdom and these practices throughout my life and work, and share it with others.

For us to have a chance at co-creating a more just, equitable, caring and sustainable world, it feels vital work.

I am more committed than ever, as many of us are. I would love to know your experiences and where you see this happening, to receive your support and challenge with equal gratitude.

In solidarity and humility x

Resources

I intend to start a list of relevant resources/links here as i find them or people share with me – i hope that is useful, and please send on more you would like to see included…

*NB: I acknowledge many other forms of systemic oppression and marginalisation, and this is where my heart and attention is drawn at this time in my life for various reasons (circumstantial and unknown).

I feel waves of grief around the impact of our societal conditioning – personal, universal and internalised, for all the times i have repeated what i was shown back to myself, saying no to my life.

At times I want so much for that not to be there, at times I am grateful for the gift, what it shows me and the path it has led me on. Inspired more than ever to create another way to live together, and i know I am not alone. We are doing it! ✊ Together, with love ❤️

Wow, how much energy is used in trying to control and shape who we are, how we feel, how we appear. Instead of learning how to listen to ourselves and the world and trust our intuition, we are taught the opposite, the underlying message that to allow ourselves is risky and even dangerous.

So much tension in my body, so much wasted time and energy trying to be all the things society told me I needed to be to be loved and worthy of belonging, so much unlearning and unravelling so that I can simply flow and become a full expression of myself.

I’m grateful for this journey and to see clearly from here the effect of these beliefs. I have a fire stronger than ever to live a new story, to know we are radically free and deeply connected to others and all life.

We are created as we are by life, we naturally care and are responsive, we can trust our unique expression. We can find radical acceptance for ourselves and each other, and create a more beautiful world. We are enough as we are. Over and over I need to hear that.

Thank you all who model that, in big ways and in moments. It matters x

PS I have a new intention, its kinda obvious (now)… Be me; Be open to feedback – when I want to; Allow space to integrate – not to edit myself or create an updated identity, simply to allow my system to readjust if it needs to, to take in more of reality; Repeat.